Things people have said to me when I’m wearing glasses

I have computer glasses, not every-day glasses. Those spectacles the optometrist prescribes because one spends eight hours of the day staring at a computer screen.

When I bought my glasses last year I chose them solely on the basis that the assistant optometrist told me they made me look like a character from Mad Men.

Anyway, because I am only a part-time eyeglass wearer people feel the need to comment on it when they see me with them on. Some of the pearlers I’ve heard in the year or so since I began wearing them are:

“You look like a sexy librarian with your glasses.”

            You mean I don’t look like a sexy librarian all the time?

“You look like a disapproving librarian in your glasses”

            That one was less-nice.

“I never thought of you as the smart, glasses type.”

            Screw you too, Jimmy. 

“You look pretty when you wear your glasses”

            Freakin’ compli-sult if ever I heard one.

“Your glasses match your eyes”

            Note: my glasses are black and white. They match Everyone’s eyes.

“Your glasses match your hair”

            Not sure how that works.

“They make you look like you’re squinting and it’s kind of nice.”

            ?

To be continued the next time someone says something stupid about my glasses.

I only wish my glasses gave me the right to hug leopards.